Selfish Thoughts...

I am a selfish person. No doubt about it. I'm self-centered and ridiculously insensitive at times. I live in my happy little world and put on blinders to what is happening all around me. I block out things that are painful and pretend at times that crappy stuff just doesn't happen to me.

I'm just a joyful person...I try to see the good in each situation...whatever. It's mostly just a load of bull. I'm just selfish. I want what I want when I want it. And heaven forbid that someone's unhappy news or a needy loved might inconvenience me in any way. It's ok to share someone's burden, just as long as it doesn't interfere with my social calendar.

I'm a runaway. Somewhere along the line, I have confused independence with indifference.

I know this is sin. It's big and black and ugly. I hate it. But...maybe the fact that I'm finally recognizing it means I've taken a baby step in the right direction. Maybe in drawing closer to God, He is shining a new light on a corner of darkness that I haven't wanted to face before.

Lord, shine the light. And help me not to run away.